What brought me to Him....

So its been almost 2 years since I wrote on this blog...quite a while...but here I am... As the title of my blog is 'AGAINST ALL ODDS' this is literally how I came 'to know HIM'...I have had many difficulties to pass, moments when I almost gave up, days when it seemed I was never going to make it and deserts that I thought I would be in forever..so what brought me to Him?!.. ANSWER: 'death' Its in our last moments on earth that everything else doesnt matter anymore, everything we conqure becomes a distant memory, the friends/ popularity we gained fades into nothing then reality hits...'I'm no longer going to be around' At 18yrs I tried to take my life...I remember that day...when I thought to myself death is better than life. I took the slow and paithful death 'pain-killer' overdose which I drank with face wash ( dont know where this idea came from). One thing I remember in that moment is how everything became quite, as I lay there waiting for the 'dose' to take my life...I stopped thinking, my brain felt heavy as I waited to feel something...I waited for death to open its doors then out of the blue I hear my name being shouted out by my mom..'CHARLOTTE, WHAT R U DOING?!?..GET OUT OF THAT ROOM NOW..DONT BE STUPID...!!!! My mothers voice put such terror inside me...I forcefully got out of bed...feeling dizzy...she told me to drink milk...in my mind I thought 'Does she know what I was doing?!' - My mom just looked at me, didnt say a word & continued ironing the clothes. She never asked questions.....and I didnt die... to be continued....

Fed Up?

In my life there have been specific moments that I can clearly remember when I was truly 'fed-up'. I was fed-up of the quality of life I had in my home country, so I left it all behind in search of something better (like many people do these days). Those where the moments when I made decisions that impacted the course of my life. There where times that out of being 'fed-up' I made wrong decisions that were led by my emotions the results were broken friendships that I wasn't willing to work out, missed opportunities that I couldn't be bothered to grab hold of and torn dreams that I destroyed because I wasn't willing to nurture. In order for one to reach the point of 'fed-up', this normally happens when we reach the end of ourselves, we can't tolerate the situation, we can't bear to look at it anymore, we want it to change, and so we make that dreaded decision that we couldn't have made if we were not 'fed-up'.
Then I didn't know God because when I was 'fed-up', I not only wanted the end of the situation, but I gave up on myself, I couldn't face the situations any longer. I wanted to be like the rabbit and hide in a hole (until the situation miraculously ended). I may have hidden from the problem, but it found me one way or another.
The point I'm trying to make here is, as long as you tolerate your situation whether spiritual or physical, as long as you comfortable with the way that your life is - it will remain as it is. Sometimes we wait for the situation to become worse before we can acknowledge it needs to change, it shouldn't be like that. Before any situation gets worse there are warning signs. The 'FED-UP' that sees results is the one that places the situation before God because ultimately He is the one who changes those unbearable, ' I-cant-do-it-myself' situations. He allows us to become REVOLTED, to wake us up not to get us more comfortable, to get us to use our FAITH that we say we have in Him,its not to give up, to moan or complain .I believe that God gets more revolted than we do , but He cant do nothing until the same revolt that is in Him is in us, then the change will begin to take place. Stop for moment!- think about your life!-is it as you want it to be? If not, BE FED-UP! BE REVOLTED!

Judges 6:14 'Then the LORD turned to him (Gideon) and said, “Go in this might of yours..'